After reviewing my digestive patterns over the last 23 years up until yesterday (mastication habits, stool, etc), I realized that I have never learned to chew my food. I tried last night and I could not get past five moderately sized bites before swallowing whatever was in my mouth. We’re talking about chunks of chicken, sushi roll, ice cream with whole cookie pieces, quesadilla, chips, crackers, and other objects (many of them sharp) going straight into my system without being broken down. The recommended chew count is something like 20 times. That is literally impossible for me to do. I am now 100% sure that, if by natural cause, I will die of an intestinal disease, internal bleeding, or colon failure. Don’t bother reading my obituary.
Quote of the Week
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.”
— Walt Whitman
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